other’s responses to our children

Our children all had their different ways of showing us that they were struggling to be in their world. It could be behavioural issues that stemmed from impulse control, to emotional regulation issues that became the catalyst for acting out, or withdrawal that meant others could not see the problems we were seeing once our child was home and safe to unmask.

Perhaps it was a partner, a teacher or a well meaning relative. Other’s responses to our children could be the thing to make or break a day. Like in Elle’s story - where a parents evenings held the same information for an entire school career, but the flavour changed depending upon the tone of voice used - often indicating whether their child was held in fondness or in disdain.

Some parents have shared how in their culture having a child who is neurodiverse could be seen as a punishment, from a higher power or from past life indiscretions.

We shared our stories of others responses to us and our children, those ranging from obstructive to helpful. These stories could have this same journey even when from the same person, with some of us sharing stories of how our partners learned about themselves and our children as they progressed from one type of response to another.